Volume 22, Issue 7, Oct. 17, 2024

It humbles me when I get to know speakers like Sarah E. McDonald, a breast cancer survivor who has overcome two cancers and succeeded in carrying a child even though she had been told that was not a possibility. It’s not just the healthcare story, but the life story that evolves, and the spirit that story reveals. Story and spirit combined subsequently inspire the message(s) she shares with other survivors and those who care about and for them. I’m pleased to share a small glimpse of her story today.

Sarah E. McDonald 

Re-ordering Life After Cancer

Sarah was on a hard charging career path when cancer changed the trajectory of her life. She was a newly married, forty-something, tech executive undergoing fertility treatments when she was diagnosed with two unrelated, or primary source types of cancer. “Primary source” means each originated on its own site in her body and was not a spread of the other — and each could kill her independently. Her prognosis was unclear, and carrying a child was off the table.

In her career, she had been moving from middle management into an executive level role as chief of staff to the president of eBay. To say that cancer interrupted her aspiration to move into a position running eBay in a country in Europe, would be an understatement.

“One of the interesting things about a cancer diagnosis is that it causes you to rethink  what the future will look like if you are successful in your cancer treatments,” she told me in our recent interview. “At the time I wasn’t sure I would be successful because we were dealing with two cancers and one (a a rare salivary cancer) is incurable. And they just weren’t sure how far it had spread.”  The other cancer was breast cancer, that had been misdiagnosed six years earlier.

Over the course of one year, she underwent chemo, radiation, and multiple surgeries. She lost her hair and her sense of taste. Against what felt like impossible odds of cancer statistics, she survived. And then she went on to carry a baby.

“Did my career goals align with my life experience anymore?” she asked herself.

“I think this is an interesting issue for cancer survivors. You’ve had this major event or experience happen in your life, and it reorders how you think about your future. Even when I was successful in my cancer treatments, and I could have gone back to climbing the corporate ladder, I realized it was no longer the life I wanted.”

“I realized that the amount of stress I had been putting on my body physically, emotionally, and psychically as a result of working so hard just wasn’t worth it to me,” she continues. “With that, there was a terrific release that I didn’t know that I was going to experience. The other thing that I would say is that in many ways, having had a cancer diagnosis, I got to reimagine what my future would look like, and people were okay with it.

“In other words, if people have expectations for you, whether it be your family, your friends, or yourself, a cancer experience gives you a pass to do whatever you want. There’s a permission given, when your life has been so shaken by an experience, to look at it differently. And so I left corporate.

“I am a writer now, a speaker because of the writing, and I do coaching. And none of that is what I thought my life would be prior to cancer.”

Her new career also fits more gently with being a Mom. When she and her husband were told there was no way she would ever carry a child, they experienced a profound loss, similar to their response to the two cancer diagnoses.

“We felt the gravity of that, and it was such a huge loss,” she shared. “And then to be told, two years post-treatment that it was possible for me to carry a child after all reordered our lives again. It gave us an opportunity to capture something we had dreamed of before my cancer diagnoses.”

In fact, she had been undergoing fertility treatments back when the cancers were diagnosed.  Now, after two years of good news checkups, she and her husband began to revisit the idea of having a child.

It was anything but an easy journey, but hearing Sarah talk today about her daughter is pure delight. You hear that Rory, who is now 8 years old, is the light of their lives, and their gratitude and joy are unbounded.

TALKING ABOUT CANCER

“Cancer is already a super isolating experience,” Sarah told me. “I almost called my book Cancer Island rather than The Cancer Channel because I talk about when you get a cancer diagnosis, you’re suddenly on your own island all by yourself, having this emergency, and you can see everybody else on the shore, partying and going on with their lives, not at all aware of what’s going on with you, and you can’t reach them.”

It’s this kind of understanding of the cancer experience, that Sarah brings to both her book and her speeches. She details viscerally the lived experience of a cancer patient to encourage greater understanding and empathy from the people   who work with and manage those diagnosed with life-threatening diseases.

Coming from the corporate world, Sarah is an especially good match for speaking to corporate audiences, particularly for helping managers interact with employees who may have had a cancer diagnosis.

Most employees will deal with cancer in their lifetimes, either second-hand as a friend, family member, or close colleague or personally as a patient. In an interactive presentation, Sarah gives employees candid, first-hand accounts of what it’s like in the latter case to have had cancer herself, and in the process, she provides ideas and tools on how to support those facing a challenging health crisis.

“People are so afraid of saying the wrong thing,” Sarah told me. “So many people choose to say nothing because they don’t know what to say. And I tell them, I’m going to give you your tool today. I’m going to tell you how to handle this.

“There are just two sentences you need to remember:

“ ‘I am so sorry you’re going through this. It must be hard.’ That’s all you need to say.

“What you have done is recognized and seen the person and said I recognize you’re going through something, and it must be so hard. There’s no need to say anything further. They don’t need to hear about your cousin or anyone else because no one is having the same experience. No one.”

The Cancer Channel

Sarah is the author of The Cancer Channel. In her honest and oftentimes vulnerable voice, Sarah recounts a year of difficult experiences in lighthearted and humorous ways, which is also the way that she shares stories with her audiences.

It’s a story of hope as well as vital information. If you’re a cancer patient or know and love someone who is on this difficult journey, this book was written for you. In a voice that will make you feel you’ve met a new, fun friend, Sarah shares in vivid detail the events surrounding her year of cancer treatments. She touches on both the terror and the humor that can be found in the little moments that are part of fighting this awful disease. As a survivor and a champion determined to foster better understanding of the do’s and don’ts with cancer patients, Sarah provides a story of hope to her readers in this very personal memoir.

One of the best things you as a leader can do for staff or a public audience is to bring Sarah and her message of hope to your community. She offers a range of topics from leadership lessons for executives whose employees will have to deal with cancer to building resilience and maintaining hope during a personal crisis.

One Microsoft executive said about her, “Sarah is an amazing storyteller! She is witty while being vulnerable, can coach while trying to learn, she can make you laugh and cry at the same time! And the best of all – she really, really cares! If you have not read her book – do it today. Over 850 attended [our event], many women, chiming in, sharing stories, asking questions, giving advice – and many stayed in the chatroom much after the talk.”

If you would like her to bring her message to your organization, give me a call at 503-699-5031 or email barbara@speakwellbeing.com. She is also available for virtual events.

 

Finding Lost Lake

I had a yearning to get up to Mt. Hood a couple of weeks ago. It seemed like the mountain (which we can see from Lake Oswego) was calling me. It had been a while since we’d been up there for a hike – since well before the pandemic. We decided on Lost Lake as a destination, as there is a nice 3 mile (and flat) walk around the lake. Getting there, however was another story.

Lost Lake was known to the Hood River Indians as E-e-kwahl-a-mat-yam-ishkt, or “Heart of the Mountains.”  I read in the guidebook that when an expedition of white men had trouble finding the legendary lake in 1880, they declared that they were not lost, the lake was.

I had the same feeling as we drove and drove and drove on a narrow, lonely, and pot-holed dirt road through the dense rain-forest: lost. It was a gorgeous fall day and there was lots of stunning scenery, but I couldn’t help but have reservations (especially when the low tire pressure indicator lit up on the dashboard). At long last we came to pavement, and signs, literally, directing us on.

As you can see in the photo, it was worth the trip to lay eyes on the iconic view of the mountain and the lake. So peaceful — a world away from hectic civilization.

There is a rustic resort and campground there, and the most welcome sight I saw as we drove up, was an Air Pump for the tires!

Turns out there’s a much smoother route through Hood River, that cuts an hour (and lots of wear and tear on the car) off the trip. We took that route down the Columbia River towards home and on our way bought a large, freshly caught steelhead fish (0ver 10 pounds) from the Indians in Cascade Locks — an unexpected bonus of the trip. We’ll have several dinners in the upcoming months that will remind us of that sunny fall day at Lost Lake.

Until next time, take care of yourself, for your well being and those you love.

Barbara

The Speak Well Being Group is a specialized speakers bureau, focusing on health and wellness for all types of organizations that want to foster health and well being for their employees, members, clients, and in their communities.

Our speakers are hand-selected. They are not only experts in their fields; they connect with their audiences while bringing them life-changing information, smiles of recognition, and ultimately a sense of well being and hope.

Finding the perfect keynote speaker for your special event or conference is my personal passion, not just once, but year after year. It brings me great joy to know that your audience was delighted and moved by the speaker we selected together. I’m committed to making the process easy, pleasant and fun.